The Shower

They say that people get great ideas and do a lot of great thinking when they are in the shower and I would have to agree. I find that when I'm in the shower I can think of a million topics to write about on the blog, or ponder things that are weighing on my mind. But the minute I get out of the shower the world seems to come back with full force and I find myself at a loss for words to write and the conclusions and enlightened thoughts I did have are just out of reach of my conscience mind.
There are so many things that a mom must think about at any given moment that it's easy to see how non immediate things get pushed to the back.
Lately I have been feeling like all I am is a mom. I don't want it to sound like I don't enjoy being a mom because being a mom is all I ever wanted to be. I'm not really one who likes the idea of having a job and I absolutely adore my children. They are the light of my life and the reason for my existence. They are so much a part of me I wouldn't know how to function without them. However, I have been a mom for 6 years now and I have noticed that I have lost apart of what makes me, me.
I used to do so many things and I enjoyed them. I find that I no longer do the things that defined who I was (perhaps only in my mind) and I have wrapped my whole persona in the lives of my children. Like I said, I love my kids beyond words, but I don't find it to be a healthy thing for me to have no other interests. The problem I am facing is that with nearly 4 delightful children and a husband who has very demanding responsibilities I can't seem to find the time, the money, or even the project to fill in the gaps.
I would like to join a book club, but I don't even know where to start looking for one, and I am afraid that the books chosen from a group out here might have graphic sections or offensive language. I am not comfortable reading graphic novels and for some reason I find that reading an offensive word on a page is harder for me to handle than it is to hear it in a movie. I know, it's weird.
I did try scrapbooking once but that was a short lived adventure. I would spend hours trying to design one page and it would end up so plain that it looked like a 5 yr old did it. Not to mention the supplies for scrapbooking are quite pricey.
I did think about sewing for a little bit. But I haven't sewn anything since the 7th grade where my glasses case ended up being more like a pencil case since the opening was so narrow. Plus again, the tools to start learning how to sew are expensive.
I'm sure this post sounds like such a downer to all of you but I'm really not depressed or sad about the problem I am just at a loss as to what to do to get myself back on track to being a well rounded individual.
I want to give my kids so much more than just a mom who used to do things and used to have interests. I want to show them what it means to be a person who pursues their interests and finds balance in every aspect of their lives. I don't want them to grow up and be so focused on their jobs that they let their families suffer. Nor do I want them to be so wrapped up in their family that they can't keep a job to support them, or have hobbies to share with their kids.
I would really like to find a skill or a hobby that I can do so I can teach my kids how to do it. I want to be so much more than just a mom. I want to be a spectacular mom who shares the wonders of this world with her kids.


P.S. Showers really are the best place to have long, meaningful thoughts with yourself. If you try to have these thoughts when you are out of the shower you should be prepared to suffer the consequences. For example, while I was writing this in my room, Rori dumped out an entire pepper shaker all over my kitchen. When I was in the shower, she was sleeping.
I'll have to think faster in the shower so I have time to write it out before the natives awake.

Personal thought time....over